There are few things as powerful as the Groundhog. American culture has merited this weird critter as being capital in the weather reporting industry.
What’s this though? You’ve never heard of Punxsutawney Phil?
Oh dear friends! He’s ever so not-important, but we Americans sort of like him.
On this celebrated holiday, where most Americans say, “Today is Groundhog’s What?” The rest of us sit on the edge of our couches, biting our fingernails and gnashing our teeth, watching about ten old white guys dressed in tuxedos, twirling colonial beards, huddled over a tree stump, manhandling a groundhog and forcing him to passive-aggressively analyze the weather.
Our American angst is around if we will have more winter or if we will have an early spring. Apparently all the technology in the field of meteorology is nothing compared to Phil. If he sees his shadow, he gets scared and scrambles back into his hibernation leaving all 49 states (yeah, Hawaii you’re out…we all know – ALOHA – so stop rubbing it in) with heads drooping and hopes shattered, BUT if he doesn’t see his shadow, women immediately get online and order bikinis and men begin to oil their lawn mowers and fill the fridge with beer. No judgement please, you can’t argue with culture.
This groundhog’s name is Punxsutawney Phil. I always imagine Phil…smiling at the camera, flashing his American-brace-faced-blingin’-funky-marmot-toothed-grin – DING! – and winking like….”Yeah, You know it’s true. I got you all in my pocket! Sucka Americans!”
How? What? When? Why? Where? And who gives a flying —-?
Well, I give a flying —-.
Yes it’s true. I hold Punxsutawney Phil dear to my heart because my heating bill is sky high and my crybaby attitude is sick to death of winter. California and winter is like oil and water. Ayeeeee – No Bueno!
In all my Groundhog’s Day glorification I discovered American’s Hat, “OHHHH CANADA!” has a similar marmot friend named Shubenacadie Sam.
WHAT??? How have I lived to be 39 and not known this information?
Canada – Respect.
…and now I’m off to buy my own bikini (but I’ll probably buy a good book instead, being that I lack the focus it takes to online shop.) Happy Early Spring!